Craigslist is known for a lot of things – some good, some not so good, and some downright hilarious. Where else in the world can you sell a kitchen table, buy an air compressor, find a job and track down a missed connection all in one place? Exactly. Nowhere.
The sellers below all have three things in common: they’re selling cars (well, they’re [kinda] trying anyway), they’re honest, and they’re funny.
The Seller That Didn’t Really Want to Sell
This guy promised his wife that he’d sell his car and buy a minivan but he doesn’t really want to sell his car and he makes that pretty apparent in his post. (Just my opinion: he’s probably doing her a favor by not buying her a minivan. *shrugs*)
He opens up the post with this:
And the fun continues from there. He notes that many people have asked for better pictures which he will not send. (The main picture is probably a good 50 feet away and the car is parked behind some trees!) He will, he says, send more pictures of the dents, though. It was a clever idea on his part; he can say he tried… kinda. Something tells me that his wife was probably wise to his antics and likely had her own Craigslist post. To read more, check it out here.
The Seller That Only Wants to Find Their Jeep a Good Home
This Jeep’s current owner only wants the best for the Jeep’s future. That’s why they’ve put so much time into vetting potential buyers. He or she has made it clear that they won’t sell this Jeep to just anyone. Thankfully, they’ve outlined specific criteria to determine if you’re the right person for the Jeep or not. If you’re interested, here’s a sampling of the conditions:
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-***ed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
Have you ever uttered the words, “Hold my beer and watch this …”?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, “I could hit that from here with the .22 …”?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Can you carry on a two-hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
And we haven’t even gotten to the details about the Jeep yet! Check out the rest of this hilariously blunt post here.
The Seller That Just Wants You To Know What You’re Getting
When you buy on Craigslist, sometimes it’s hard to know what you’re getting. Luckily, with Craigslist, you do get the opportunity to take a look at it in real life before committing, unlike eBay. With a purchase as big as a car, it’s always good to give it a thorough look to make sure the seller’s claims are true. Well, with this listing, you can probably feel pretty confident that the seller isn’t lying.
The seller is listing a 2002 Oldsmobile Alero. The post opens with:
“200k miles. Rust on the side. I even zoomed in on the rust so you can see it. This car runs and drives. The air blows cold and it has a cd player. That’s it. Nothing more nothing less.”
And later goes on to include such gems as:
“This **** is $900 dollars. You’re getting 900 dollars worth of a car. Don’t ask me about the check engine light or this or that light. It’s 900 dollars. Its gone be some lights on…”
Who wouldn’t want this car?! And did I mention it’s only $900?
Bask in the full extent of this car’s awesomeness here.
The Seller That Has The Most Vanilla Car of All Time
If you’re looking for a little something to spice up ahem… de-spice your life, this car might be exactly what you’re looking for. In fact, according to the seller, this car is known for boring people to death in an accidental boredom massacre.
“This car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.
In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary, “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
But boring isn’t always bad, boring can be practical. Like your grandparents. In a silver alert.
“This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”
This is only the tip of the Toyota Corolla iceberg, see the rest here!
The Seller That Has a Car With a Wild Side
This seller warns potential buyers that the Dodge Viper that they’ve listed for sale has “a crazy, insane amount of power” and that he is only sharing this because he “will not have your soul on his conscience”. He even claims to be afraid of it and likened it to owning a demon – a demon that wants to kill you by constantly tempting you to “mash down the accelerator”. Do you think you can handle it?
Not only does Craigslist offer nearly everything you could ever want but you can meet some pretty incredible and hilarious people while you’re at it. To learn how to sell safely on Craigslist, check out Trusted.Sale.